Welp. I’m not sure what to say. It’s been a hell of a long time. Here we are at the end of August and I believe the last time I wrote to you was just after the solar eclipse. In April. Four months ago. When I was was researching websites and blogs one point that was continually stressed was don’t neglect it for an extended period of time. It will look like you, the author, simply doesn’t care enough to keep it current. In fact, I think the example used in my research was that you don’t want to leave it unattended for something like four months. I don’t have a lot to say in my defense except that I do care. Obviously not to the extent I ought to, but I do. I don’t have any overreaching reason or excuse for the inaction, my inaction, I just let it get away from me. Lame, I know, but the truth.

I have been struggling lately with any type of writing, not just the blog. Up until the late spring, I was rolling along pretty well in my most recent writing endeavor. I thought there was a good chance the novel’s first draft would be complete by mid-summer. Uh-uh. It’s now late summer, some of the leaves in the area are beginning to tinge red, and I’m right about where I was in April or May. It’s depressing. And very, very frustrating. One trait I have always found myself lacking is the ability to stay organized. Specifically, being able to set a schedule and stick to it. It’s not that I can’t do it, I taught school for twenty-four years. Believe me, you need to be organized and able to schedule and follow a routine. It’s just that when I don’t have to do it, I sort of just…four months.

It sounds so damn easy. Wake up. Put on some coffee. Park my butt in front of the laptop and spend the next three or four hours at work creating a masterpiece. Then I still have the majority of the day to get to any work that needs to be done, go hiking, kayaking, inspect the hives, whatever. I think most people would kill for a daily schedule like that. So what’s the problem? Well, if I knew for sure I’d fix it. My guess, though, is lack of focus.

Here’s what I mean. I wake up and put on some coffee. Up to this point things are progressing smoothly. But then I open the laptop, check out my email, then get sucked into whatever rabbit hole catches my eye that day. Sports? Sure. Music? Yeah. Beekeeping? My God, there are more beekeeping podcasts out there than there are bees. It’s crazy. Anyway, time marches on and it’s a couple hours later. Instead of putting my foot down, or my fingers down on the keyboard, I look outside and decide since I’ve lost some hours already I might as well just throw in the towel on the day’s writing and get outside to do whatever. If you’re a more disciplined person than me, and I’d bet there are a lot of you out there, you’re probably thinking, Whoa! So a couple hours have slipped by, there’s still time to dedicate a few to writing. And really, who cares if the lawn doesn’t get cut today? Do it tomorrow, or the next day. It’s not like there’s a job taking up all my time. But that’s you. You are one focused and disciplined son of a gun. I’m not. You know the lawn thing I just mentioned? The lawn isn’t a priority. It’s never a priority. I let it get crazy and tell myself I’m doing it so the bees can get to the dandelions or clover or whatever else is popping up there. I swear, sometimes I think I’m hopeless. However…I am writing right now.

I realize this isn’t the novel, but it’s a start in that direction. It’s me, some coffee, this laptop, and it’s still pretty early. By my standards anyway, 8:07 am. So yeah, it’s happening. I realize it’s not seven or eight pages of fresh prose, but it will be somewhere in the area of 850-1000 words. Baby steps, right? So, I’ll finish this, then take a picture of something for the top. Who knows, maybe I’ll take a picture of this blog itself. I’m writing it in WordPress and the screen I create it in looks pretty impressive. I’ve got toolbar kind of things along the top, as well as on both sides of the screen. Now that I look at it, it looks downright complicated. Someone looking at this for the first time might think that I’m a real knowledgeable writer guy.

One point I want to get across with this little exercise, though, is that there truly isn’t an excuse for the delay in writing and posting this entry. It is simply something I allowed to happen. Maybe now that I’ve bared my soul I can get back up on the writing horse and ride again. And hopefully it won’t just be a ride for today, but for tomorrow and the day after and the one after that. I will make another effort to focus and embrace the routine. Who knows, maybe this time it will stick.